The last few weeks haven't been bad - I'm not so good at this blogging stuff anymore but I really think it does help to get things out + it's nice to have some type of record of things. I've seen some great shows [SVE, lori mckenna, bare jr, will hoge, of montreal/janelle monae, the national, dbt], gone to a few bama games [this past weekend's loss to SC was tough but we're still in a decent spot to repeat] and been to too many braves game [so many tough losses].
I submitted my GT business school app last week, had my admissions interview yesterday and will find out if I'm into the program by the end of the week - crazy fast! I'm really ready to do something else, a move would be great but there has to be a purpose...and I don't really have one right now. Hopefully this funk that's been hanging over me for the majority of 2010 will lift soon, I just don't understand how to kick it. I can't get over Brooke no matter what I do + she's still on my mind pretty much all the time. I even got upset when I found out about Josh + Celenia - just seems like I've lost so much. We McLain boys def aren't in a good place right now.
I know everything works out + what's meant to be will be and all that, I just can't stop thinking about us regardless of what I'm doing [working, playing sports, drinking, hanging out w/ my friends, praying, volunteering, etc]. I know it has to happen at some point - it just seems like it's not even getting any easier, like I can't notice any difference after all this time. I know she got a new job + she's moving to Wichita. You would think that'd at least force some closure but it still feels worse than ever for some reason. As pathetic as it sounds I'd still pack up + move w/ her today if she wanted me to...maybe 2011 will be better, even though it's been a pretty great year otherwise. I guess losing the woman that you thought you'd marry will ruin anyone's year - I just can't believe it's been so long + I'm still not feeling any better. The weather's getting colder and the holidays are approaching so I guess It's just got me thinking about so many things that I enjoyed doing w/ Brooke. Anyway...
Coed softball Monday nights, coed soccer Tuesday nights, mens soccer Wednesday nights and weekends full of football, etc have me about as busy as I can get so I might as well try to enjoy all that before grad school [hopefully] starts up in January. If I don't get into Tech [and maybe even if I do] I need to evaluate all of my options and desires + get something new rolling. I really need to focus on God and my family + get to where I want/need to be as a man - really lay out some concrete personal, professional and physical goals + get to work. Until I'm man enough to not drink at all I've at least got to be sure to stick to my 'no shots while out' rule - Saturday night w/ Chris and Marcus was fun + I've been doing a lot better but there's still no reason to order shots when you've already got a good buzz. I guess everything's pretty good considering - I need to go to criminal, check out some used vinyl + grab the new Sufjan album at some point. I feel like I could go on for a while now but I've got enough down.
[ we'll miss you, Bobby ]
I submitted my GT business school app last week, had my admissions interview yesterday and will find out if I'm into the program by the end of the week - crazy fast! I'm really ready to do something else, a move would be great but there has to be a purpose...and I don't really have one right now. Hopefully this funk that's been hanging over me for the majority of 2010 will lift soon, I just don't understand how to kick it. I can't get over Brooke no matter what I do + she's still on my mind pretty much all the time. I even got upset when I found out about Josh + Celenia - just seems like I've lost so much. We McLain boys def aren't in a good place right now.
I know everything works out + what's meant to be will be and all that, I just can't stop thinking about us regardless of what I'm doing [working, playing sports, drinking, hanging out w/ my friends, praying, volunteering, etc]. I know it has to happen at some point - it just seems like it's not even getting any easier, like I can't notice any difference after all this time. I know she got a new job + she's moving to Wichita. You would think that'd at least force some closure but it still feels worse than ever for some reason. As pathetic as it sounds I'd still pack up + move w/ her today if she wanted me to...maybe 2011 will be better, even though it's been a pretty great year otherwise. I guess losing the woman that you thought you'd marry will ruin anyone's year - I just can't believe it's been so long + I'm still not feeling any better. The weather's getting colder and the holidays are approaching so I guess It's just got me thinking about so many things that I enjoyed doing w/ Brooke. Anyway...
Coed softball Monday nights, coed soccer Tuesday nights, mens soccer Wednesday nights and weekends full of football, etc have me about as busy as I can get so I might as well try to enjoy all that before grad school [hopefully] starts up in January. If I don't get into Tech [and maybe even if I do] I need to evaluate all of my options and desires + get something new rolling. I really need to focus on God and my family + get to where I want/need to be as a man - really lay out some concrete personal, professional and physical goals + get to work. Until I'm man enough to not drink at all I've at least got to be sure to stick to my 'no shots while out' rule - Saturday night w/ Chris and Marcus was fun + I've been doing a lot better but there's still no reason to order shots when you've already got a good buzz. I guess everything's pretty good considering - I need to go to criminal, check out some used vinyl + grab the new Sufjan album at some point. I feel like I could go on for a while now but I've got enough down.
[ we'll miss you, Bobby ]
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