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calling + not calling my ex

Sammy's 1st bday party w/ everyone in Houston was great - I'm beat though. Halloween was surprisingly fun: scored a super cheap scary kids costume at Walgreens at 9p right before heading out. Ended up spending most of the night w/ Linda, Kyle and that crew in kirkwood/reynoldstown bar hopping + at that huge sampson st party - crazy that someone actually lives there. Still surprised that more of my friends didn't care to do anything but I guess that's how it goes as will increasingly go as everyone 'grows up.' That's all for now - back to work.

This song just came through my itunes at work - def hit home...
- - -
She was once mine
that smile that shines from the glossy magazine that's stuck inside the Sunday times
She was so sweet
On Christmas eve
With the snow set deep when we went walking through the pines
I had just been fired and her first offer had arrived
and the new year would see her flying far away from me
though I didn't know it a the time

With out-stretched hands
now she commands a famous figure
for every picture
and she stands up strong and she demands
and they deliver
yeah she's a fixture
and it's mixture of dumb jealously and fear that I might feel
should she appear
just like it hasn't been three years
And there's distance to her voice over the phone
and that's because she stands alone
while I'm still sitting here

girl you see me here on another quite night
I will wait until another indistinguishable day arrives
I'll sigh when the light is even and bright
where my life is sweet while it's slightly disappointingly just gliding softly by
girl you won't wait for me
in some secluded stand of trees
some Christmas eve some god was kind enough to set aside
Although I love you too, I'm proud of you
God knows I'm feeling really stupid now
for ever having said "goodbye"

During the fight
I said yeah right
when insisted that I'd visit
that you'd write
Now I know you're working hard so I never hear from you
and that's fine
you look the same on TV as when you where mine

I walk in from the kitchen and I finger the remote control
I watch you from the distance you go walking through the terminal
I remember every instance when you stunned me
well you're so lovely yeah you're so smart

So go turn their heads
go knock them dead
go break their hearts

go break their hearts
baby break their hearts
and I know you will

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Eddie's x three

I know I want the kind of love that Lori McKenna writes/sings about, just assume I'm not mature/wise/brave enough to recognize it yet. The last few years have been so great from a social, academic and professional development POV but I feel like I really need to focus on my personal/emotional space and growth at this point. On a semi related note...I most likely/definitely failed an econ midterm tonight but I also got to drink some whiskey and watch one of my favorite songwriters perform...I'll count that as an easy win.

c.e.l.e.b.r.a.t.i.o.n.

the e11even year curse is over. florida v. ucla in the 2006 ncaa men's basketball championship. both are mine. to blind willie's for the inaugural celebration w/ the blues guitarist of the year - hooray - postscript: what's wrong w/ me as a friend/person/etc? I just don't get it, but it's got to be something. Just leave anonymous comments here's to the time change - more daylight to play