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maybe all I need is a shot in the arm

Oh Monday, you are the day w/ the most opportunity yet usually the day I feel that I waste the most of. I usually think too much anyway, especially when I have an entire day to myself while everyone else is busy at work. I did get to eat lunch w/ some of my family today since Rachel left to go to Indonesia for two years. There are so many choices to make in life, so many things that totally change everything. Once you take one road, so many more are cut off forever. I know that is definitely a problem that I have, always wanting to experience so much, such variety. Although I feel that I do a pretty good job w/ it & that there is def. no real hurry to have it all figured out at this point in my life [or at any point in my life], I still wonder if I'm making the right decisions.

Everything is magnified on Mondays, when I have so much time to do my own thing and realize how 'different' my life is from so many other people my age, especially my friends. It's weird to feel like so many people think you're a slacker/screw-up/etc. simply b/c you're not doing the usual 8-5 thing. I'm not even sure it's about making money, I just think that most people are so conditioned to what is 'normal' that they don't think it's good for anyone to do otherwise unless they're extremely rich or something. I'm not saying that I'm doing exactly what I want to do, but I def. enjoy my life a lot more doing this than working a 'regular' job that most people hate [while making about the same amount of money] just for the sake of being 'normal'.

I'm sure most of the criticism is in my head, but I feel that it's best to have the freedom to explore all the avenues that you possibly can until you find exactly what you want to do as opposed to getting a regular job like you're supposed to whether you enjoy it or not. I've always had such a wide variety of interests that I'm sure it's going to be hard to stick w/ one 'career' regardless of what I choose to do. I walked around midtown/piedmont the last two nights just to get out and think a bit, here are my options as I see them now:
1 - Stick w/ the t-shirt shop until we really find our niche and it becomes a bigger thing. We'll be making some major changes w/n the next month so I'll find out where it's headed quickly.
2 - See what happens w/ the FARM team, I've already earned a lot of respect simple for doing what I feel is relatively easy assignments. It always amazes me how much people are impressed by someone that actually does what they say they'll do & doesn't let you down. The trip to NYC for CMJ the first week of Nov. will go a long way in telling me how much to expect out of Cornerstone. It would be such a great experience to get called to New York to work for them.
3 - Grad school @ BGI [or somewhere else that has a similarly progressive program]. It would def. be a life-changing experience, I've just gotta make sure that once I go for it that I'm ready to really knock it out. It will be a huge commitment: money, time, passion...everything. I do think that that would put me in a 'real' job that most reflects what I want to do as far as design & business goes. Of course, I'd love to just get a job with a green company right now and go that route. BGI is just really intimidating since it is such a different school and has such a wide range of successful students that have already done so much.

Anyway, that's the main three as I see it right now. Freelance stuff is also ideal, it's just tough to get that ball rolling. Of course, I definitely haven't been working on a lot of design of any kind recently. I guess that's just the whole 'out of school' mindset, maybe I need to see the science of sleep again.

This weather is getting really nice, I'm totally jumping the gun on the coldness though. I keep taking my hoodie with me when I'm going to be outside for more than a few minutes and it's not quite cold enough for that yet [even though it's pretty thin]. Walking around piedmont justifies pretty much everything about the city for me. Ha, it makes me want someone to really share everything with even more than usual. Fall in the city is perfect for that kind of stuff. You can't force anything though, and I'm way too picky to even go on more than a few dates if I don't see it turning into anything really serious.

- Wilco makes a good fall companion

Maybe Tatum B. will have a monster 2nd half. This fantasy football stuff really jumps on you.

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